Saturday, January 28, 2012

Bradman - Greatest Anecdotes Part 2

When did you first fall in love with Jessie Menzies?

DB: Err, I think that would be the day she came to live with us when I was about 12 years of age. I remember the day very well because I had been sent down the street by my mother on a mission to buy some groceries, and I ran into the doctor's car...on my bike, and had an
accident. He had to take me home, I had my nose all cut and scratches all over my face. And when I got home she was there at the door, having just been delivered by her father, because she was going to
stay with us for 12 months and go to school. And we went to school together every day for the rest of that year. That was when I fell in love with her, that very first day. I don't think she fell in love
with me until much later, because I was a terrible sight the day she saw me.

RM: (laughs) Did you decide then you were going to marry her?

DB: (smiles) No, no not quite then..but very shortly afterwards.


RM: But she turned you down first up, in 1932..?

DB: No, no, she didn't turn me down then..just postponed it.

RM: I see, but you wanted to marry her before you went on the 1930 tour?

DB: No I only wanted to be engaged, I didn't want to get married.

RM: And she said no?

DB: She said "Wait until you get back from England, and if you still feel the same way, talk to me again."

RM: And you did?

DB: And I did, straight away..as soon as I got back.

RM: Could you have done all this without Jessie?
DB: No, no..no way in the world, no way in the world. She's the most
marvellous woman who ever existed

-----------------
Can I ask you the story about the missing engagement ring?

DB: Well it's a bit of a mystery (sips water) Yes, I brought her a nice engagement ring..single diamond, with a couple of diamonds each side, and one day she reported to me that she couldn't find it. And so we racked our brains and searched everywhere, but we couldn't find it. So we finally came to the conclusion that she'd taken it off while
preparing some vegetables, and it had been thrown out. And that was the end of it and we couldn't find it anywhere..this went on for about 20 years, and then one day I was scratching around in the garden, up in the backyard, and I suddenly saw something glint in the sunlight. I turned it over, and it was a ring. I picked this ring up, and it
looked like one of the rings the kids get at the show. I took it inside and said to my wife "Do you recognize this, did one of the kids get it in a showbag or something like that?" She took one look and said "Good gracious, that's my ngagement ring". It turns out it had
been thrown out in the rubbish, it had gone through the incinerator, it had gone through the vegetable garden, and I accidently scratched it up on a gravel path. So we got it restored and she wears it today, absolutely beautiful. A miracle.

RM: (laughs) Was she the boss?

DB: She always has been.

=============================

Don Bradman: In retrospect I think my feeling is one of gratitude that I was given such a great opportunity through sport to serve my country. As a boy I had no idea that my career would develop in this fashion, I just simply loved playing cricket as a sport, and I can truthfully say that it was a labour of love. I continued to play it as a sport throughout the whole of my career. I was not in a position of
power; my parents were humble country folk, they had no wealth or influence. Any success I had was purely the result of my own talents, and I
m gratified for the reason that I think my life can be seen as
an example to the youth of Australia in proving that any person from any walk of life has the opportuni
ty, if he cares to grasp it.

SONG: Bradman

Now shadows grow longer, and there
s so much more yet to be told
But we
re not getting any younger, so let the part tell the whole
Now the players all wear colours, the circus is in town
And I no longer can go down there, down to that sacred ground
He was more than just a batsman, he
s something like a tide
More than just one man, he was half the bloody side
Fathers took their sons
cos fortune used to hide
In the palm of his hands; in the
palm of his hands
Bradman (Part II )


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Fingleton on Bradman:

His batting stance was unique. His bat touched the ground between his feet, not behind them, like every other batsman and photograph I have seen. He stood perfectly still as the bowler approached; the end of his bat did not act as an escape conductor for energy with that
nervous tap, tap, tap on the pitch so common to most batsmen as the
bowler ran to deliver the ball.''


``He was at once the despair of the bowlers, the captain and his fieldsmen, the batting worthy struggling at the other end and his comrades in the pavilion. He made it all look so easy, so simple, so
pre-arranged. He always made the nlooker feel that a loose ball would
be lifted for four to the very place on the boundary to which science required that ball should be sent''.


``His genius was absolute. To bat with him was an education and revelation, not given by any other batsman of the period. Great artists like Trumper and Macartney varied the direction of the shot for sheer artistic satisfaction but Bradman was implacable. He was more interested in runs than art, and in the days when he was playing for Australia you would have searched a long time before you found an
onlooker who seriously disagreed with him. He was the undisputed hero
of the new-found public, the broadcasting public. He was the darling of the spectator's heart - and justifiably so, because no batsman in history had been so prolific and none of the moderns could approach the standard he set for consistency and sheer honesty of batting
purpose.''


And Jack Fingleton concludes, ``All bowlers with the possible exception of O'Reilly, whom he first met in a country game, came alike to Bradman. At one time or another he took up Tate, Larwood (before bodyline), Geary, Voce, Freeman, Verity, Constantine, Francis, Griffiths, Grimmett, Fleetwood-Smith, Ebeling, Blackie, Ironmonger, Oxenham, Quinn, Bell, Morkel, McMillan, and the rest of the world's best. He was wary and respectful always with O'Reilly, but the others
he closely analysed and then slashed them apart before he left them
bewildered, abashed and out of breath.''

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


account in Fingleton' Cricket Crisis of Bradman's "cold and deliberate
cricket murder" of Mailey's bowling in a charity match - a charity match! - in the early 1930s, motivated by a newspaper story on the eve of the match, suggests little charity in Bradman's ego.

Wrote Fingleton: "A statistician found Mailey, then a cricket veteran, had taken Bradman's wicket several times. The newspapers displayed the fact. [But] it meant for Mailey his offering on the sacrificial altar of Bradman's greatness, for the little chap never missed a cricket
item ... Bradman put Mailey in the stocks that day for all to see. He hanged, drew and quartered him. Mailey was butchered to make another Bradman holiday."

================================================== ====
Great Australian Cricket Stories by Neil Marks, the former NSW cricketer and selector who has made a second career as an author and raconteur of sports yarns.


Marks' father Alec, better known as Acka, was also a forceful NSW batsman in his prime and became close mates with his young team-mate Bradman.


There is the story of Acka, an expert snooker player, beating the novice Bradman in a friendly game.


Five years later, when Bradman had moved to Adelaide, he invited Acka
to his home when the two were playing a Shield match against each other.


After dinner Bradman led the way to a full-sized snooker table
and wiped the table with his guest. He had been plotting his revenge for years.

Another story relates how Acka worked on his bowling and was on the verge of selection as an all-rounder on an Ashes tour.

In the final trial match against Bradman's team he scored 83 and then was given a bowl. His good mate Bradman smashed him all over the park, ending any tour hopes.


When Acka remarked jokingly that radman could have gone easy on him
and got his friend on the boat, Bradman answered seriously: "It never dawned on me."


Finally Acka did make an Australian Test squad, captained by Bradman, who was also a selector, as 12th man.


It was the highlight of his career and he was justifiably chuffed. Then Bradman deflated him by saying he had pulled strings to get Acka into the side, securing him match payment as a "wedding present".


As Neil Marks wrote, Bradman never realised how much he had hurt his
friend.


No, The Don wasn't a god, just a bloke.


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Cardus on Don:

At Adelaide, at close of play on a hot day on which Donald Bradman amassed 212, I asked Bill Voce, the Nottinghamshire and England fast left-handed bowler: "What's the best ball to bowl at 'The Don'?" Out
of his heart, Bill replied: "There's no ruddy best ball to bowl at him."

Bradman scored a century on his first appearance in first-class cricket. One of the opposing bowlers, a famous Australian captain, was asked after his baptism of Bradman: "What's this new young cove like?"

"He belts hell out of everything he can reach," was the reply, which, I think, can be taken as the most eloquent of all ways of describing Bradman's batting. He was a killer of all kind of bowling, given a good pitch to play on.

A splendid South African bowler told me that, at Adelaide, Bradman hit him for three fours in one of his first overs, the ball still new. His captain thereupon asked: "What's the matter?" The bowler answered: "Well, if you really want to know, he's just hit for hellfire fours
three of the best balls I've ever bowled in my life."
----

Cardus adds in a different context,'' one afternoon I was walking along Whiteall I saw a newspaper placard: ``Bradman Fails'' and in the stop press I read, ``Bradman b Ryan 58
================================================== =======


when the Don scored 334 runs in a 1930 Test at Leeds, and a London newspaper finally trumpeted just two grateful words on posters around the city: "HE'S OUT!"


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Micheal Henderson with a fancy story

Nevertheless, I think I have a beauty. It was told to me by the great Australian batsman, Dean Jones, who positively swore on the head of his daughter it happened, and I have since been told that Merv Hughes also confirms its truth.

The scene is set at a Test match between Australia and the West Indies at Adelaide Oval back in February 1989. These were the days when the Windies were the greatest power the cricketing world had ever seen, the days when they used to select 11 fast bowlers in the team and a
12th man who was a fast bowler just to be on the safe side.

And it was into just such a furnace that the young bowler Mervyn Hughes walked - with bat in hand. Figuring fortune favoured the brave, Hughes wielded the willow like an axeman his axe, and somehow - after snicking fortutiously, connecting full-bloodedly, and missing entirely - he finished the day's play at 72 not out.

The tradition in Test cricket is that the batting side take a few beers into the fielding side's dressing-room afterwards, but not on this evening. Instead, Merv took an ice-box full of bottles, so keen
was he to give the men of the Windies the full blow-by-blow account of every run he'd made. So it was that half an hour later, Jones - who himself had contributed 216 - and Hughes and several other Australian players were in the Windies dressing-room, when a sudden hush fell
upon the gathering.

They looked to the door and there was Sir Donald Bradman himself, being ushered into the room by several South Australian cricket officials. The Don had expressed a desire to meet this mighty team, and now here he was.

For the next 15 minutes or so, the great man was introduced to the visiting players, with each West Indian standing up well before Sir Donald got to their position on the bench. Then, when their time came, they warmly shook his hand and had a few words.

This all proceeded splendidly until Sir Donald got to the last man on the bench, Patrick Patterson - the fastest bowler in the world at that time. So the story goes, not only did Patterson not stand, he simply squinted quizzically up at the octogenarian. Finally, after some 30 seconds of awkward silence, Patterson stood up, all two metres of pure whip-cord steel of him, and looked down at the diminutive Don.

"You, Don Bradman!?!" he snorted. "You, Don Bradman?!?! I kill you, mun! I bowl at you, I kill you! I split you in two!"

In reply, Sir Donald, with his hands on his hips, gazed squarely back at Patterson and calmly retorted: "You couldn't even get Merv Hughes out. You'd have no chance against me, mate!"

More stories on Bradman.

====================

Bradman: Oh yes, that's a great story, that happened the other day.
I'd been having a round of golf and was driving home quietly about 3 o'clock. The strange thing was it was alongside Victoria Park racecourse, near the grand prix circuit. I was actually driving on the
grand prix circuit and the policeman waved me down, there were no other cars in the vicinity at all. I thought he'd broken down and wanted some help. And when he pulled me over he said "I'm sorry but you've been exceeding the speed limit." I said "No I'm not, the speed
limit's 80 (kmhs) here, and I was only doing about 70." He said "No it's not, it's 60 and my radar gun says you were exceeding the speed limit, you were doing 72." Then he said "Have you got your licence with you," so I pulled out the
wallet and produced it to him. He got out his book and began to make some notes, then he said "Are you Sir Donald radman?" I said yes, that's right, and he said "it's an honour and a privilege to meet you," and I said "Well I'm very sorry I can't say the same to you."

RM: (laughs) Did he book you?

DB: He certainly did, I went away $173 poorer and a lot wiser.
RM: So there's a policeman in South Australia who had been brazen
enough to book Donald Bradman?
DB: Yes, well that proves that there are no corrupts in the police force in South Australia (laughs)

RM: Are you a speed merchant by nature?
DB: Well no I'm not, I'm such a slow driver that theres a story in our family...we were driving to town one day, and my daughter said to me "What's the matter Dad, are we driving into a head wind?" (laughs)
Thats my reputation as a driver.

=========================================
Ram Guha on Bradman

The Don never played in this country, but was adored here nevertheless. He retired in 1948, and five years later decided to make another visit to England, as a ournalist. As it happens, his aircraft
made an unscheduled stopover at Kolkata's Dum Dum airport. Word got
around, somehow, and within minutes there were 5,000 cricket-crazy Indians on the tarmac, screaming for him. Bradman hastily got into an army jeep and took refuge in a barricaded building.

--------------

My feelings regarding Vivian Richards were anticipated by a Yorkshire
cricket lover watching Don Bradman in the summer of 1948. He loved him, for his brilliant batsmanship, and hated him, for all those runs scored against his side. As Bradman walked off the Headingley ground for the last time, having hit 173 not out to take Australia to an emphatic victory, this Yorkshireman stopped the foreign foe on the pavilion steps. Eyes brimming with tears - tears of anger and of admiration - he spoke the two words that best expressed his complex
emotions: "Yer booger!"


--------------
Some years later(after the record 499, by Hanif Mohammed ) the Pakistani cricket team toured Australia. When they played South Australia at Adelaide, Sir Donald Bradman walked into their dressing
room and asked to meet the man who had broken his record score of 452.
Hanif got up, and apologetically said, ''Sir, you will always be the greatest.'' The Don looked him up and down and replied, shaking his head: ''So you are the fellow. I always thought that the batsman who
broke my record would be six feet two inches tall. But you are shorter
than me!''

==================================================

When the city of Adelaide decided to rename a street for Sir Don, several businesses on the strip tried to cash in on the cricketer's reputation-for example, the Ultimate Risk Sex Shop intended to rename itself "Erotica on Bradman" but changed its mind after a wave of negative publicity. Eventually, the Australian government changed the law to prevent businesses from using Bradman's name to suggest a commercial connection.

===============================================


Teetotal and a non- smoker, when possible he avoided rowdy celebration, although as a talented pianist he would occasionally be roped in to accompany sing-songs. After he made 309 not out on the first day of the Test match at eadingley in 1930, against an attack
including Larwood and Tate, he went up to his room to listen to music and write letters all evening.


Some of his team-mates resented this attitude. In particular, the Irish and Roman Catholic members of Australia's side in the 1930s - Jack Fingleton and Bill O'Reilly to the fore - took exception to the
tight, dedicated, Empire-loving, Royalty-idolising, aristocrat-appreciating genius under whose shadow they lay.


``A churlish little man,'' Fingleton called Bradman in 1980, all passion clearly not spent

---------------------------------------

In May 1941 Bradman was discharged from the Army on medical grounds. A
frozen shoulder left him unable to lift his right arm. He also lost all feeling in the thumb and index finger of his right hand; it never returned, he wrote in his book Farewell to Cricket (1950).


For the rest of the war Bradman busied himself with his work on the Adelaide stock exchange, on which he bought a seat in 1943. But even this occupation proved fraught, as Harry Hodgett, his boss, was imprisoned for fraud in 1945. Bradman worked hard and successfully to
restore the position of the firm, which now traded as Don Bradman and Company. During this period, he recorded, ``cricket never crossed my
mind.''

...He continued to work as a stockbroker until 1954 when he announced,
rather curiously, that his doctor had advised him to retire.
---------
Bradman on sledging:

"I played under Alan Kippax in New South Wales for some time, I played under Jack Ryder in the Test series in 28-29, I played under Bill Woodfull in 1930 until he retired, and I captained the side until I
retired. And in the whole of that time, I don't recall one single incident of sledging. It never occurred, and it would not have occurred because it would not have been allowed, not one of those
captains would have allowed it. If it had happened under me I would have given the fellow one warni ng, and if it had happened again I would have made sure he was not selected again.... it never went on in my day, not at all, and I don't think it should happen now."


=======================================

Give him 300 and ask him to go out,'' shouted a spectator at the
Australians v Worcestershire match in 1934 during Don Bradman's
innings of 206, the second of the three consecutive double centuries
he made against that County. A lady watching the Don score 452 not out
in 415 minutes for NSW against Queensland on January 30, 1930,
remarked ``Why don't they let someone else have a turn? I am sick of
looking at him.''


That the Don was a nightmare to the bowlers is revealed in a despatch
by Arthur Mailey in 1949. He wrote ``I felt sorry for those bowlers
who were and will be up tomorrow against Bradman. Breaking through his
defence is even more difficult than getting clearance from the
Taxation Department.I've tried both.''

===============================================
Bill O Reilly on Don:

There's never been and never will be in my estimation a batsman so
good as that fella. I don't care how many you like to pour into one -
all the Chappells, the Borders and so on. Forget them, they're just
child's play compared with Bradman, and I've seen them all. Bradman
was a bloke whose ability with the bat was absolutely inconceivable.
The Yanks talk about Babe Ruth and all that. To hell with Babe Ruth.
This boy was a modern miracle.''

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John Bradman, the son on his father :

I recall one night just after I'd gone to bed, I heard this wailing coming from his room and I ran in to find him jumping up and down slapping himself. He'd hopped into bed and had been bitten by a swarm
of bees ... the Department of Agriculture had a special unit that dealt with bees.

"So the next morning he rang them up and said my name is Don Bradman
and I've got some bees in my cavity wall. And as quick as a flash the bloke on the phone said: `Well my name is Bill Smith and I've got bats in the belfry' and hung up. The poor fellow thought it was a joke.''

--

Mr Bradman reiterated his belief that his father should not be so revered that he becomes god-like. "I was in the State Library recently where some of his things are in a collection ... one item is a rug
which used to be on the floor of my room. It's in the design of the Australian blazer pocket and it has a dark green ackground and in this dark green background are some faded patches. "I was standing next to some people and they were discussing these pale patches in hushed tones and with almost reverential significance ... I could have
told them they were the patches where my little dog had peed on it.''
================================================== =
Captaincy stories

'Bradman could read a batsman and tell you how to bowl to him, but he did it obliquely, as with Bill Edrich, who tended to play across the line, at Lord's in 1948. Lindwall habitually placed a short leg behind the square leg umpire. When Edrich came in, Bradman asked Lindwall:
'Do you want that short leg behind or in front of the umpire?'

'No, leave him there,' Lindwall said.

He bowled a couple to Edrich and would have had him caught by the short leg if he had taken Bradman's hint. He asked Bradman if he should move the fielder.

'It's too late now,' Bradman said; 'he won't play that shot again.' Edrich played against Australia for another five years; Lindwall says he always had him in trouble as a result of Bradman's tip.

----------------------------

Lindwall recalls that the team attended a black tie function while a match was in progress, and that three of the bowlers on duty, himself, Colin McCool and Ern Toshach, were then invited to a party 15 miles out of London. They had to m ake three separate cab trips to get there;
this persuaded them to stay at the party rather than attempt a complicated trip back in the early hours of the morning. When they did get back, still in dinner suits, they went up the hotel stairs incase
Bradman was in the lift, but met him doing his exercises. The great man said no more than: 'Have a nice night? You had better do all right today.'

They had a shower and took the field. Bradman bowled the three of them
all morning; each took three wickets. Lindwall was on the rubbing table at lunch when Bradman 'smacked me on the behind' and said: 'You were pretty lucky today.'

'Why? We got them all out.'

'If you hadn't I would have liked to see the three of you bowling all afternoon.'

------------------------------------------

Bradman had a horror start as captain. He lost the toss at the 'Gabba,
watched his main strike bowler Ernie McCormick break down and was out
for a duck in the second innings on a sticky wicket. England romped home by 322 runs and won the second Test in Sydney by an innings, rain once again coming to its aid. Bradman made his second successive duck and the critics were not impressed with the scoreboard - England 2, Australia 0 and in grave danger of losing the Ashes. One ewspaper reported that Bradman, the spotlight now focused on him all the time
and his anxiety level full to overflowing, was not getting the loyal support of all his players. McCabe issued a statement saying the players were behind him.

Things turned around for Australia and Bradman in the third Test in Melbourne. With rain a factor for the third time and England batting on a sticky wicket, the shrewd Bradman told his bowlers not to get England out. When Allen declared (too late, as it turned out) towards
the end of play on Saturday, the wicket was still unfriendly. Bradman gambled and opened the second innings with tail-enders Bill O'Reilly and a stunned `Chuck' Fleetwood-Smith.

O
Reilly was out first ball, but Fleetwood-Smith survived, joking that he had the game by the throat.

BY Monday the wicket had lost its fire and, with Bradman back to his fluent best with 270, Australia won. Bradman's improvisation had paid off. This time Allen's captaincy was under fire. He might have clinched the series 3-0 if he had declared England's second innings
sooner and exposed Australia to the damp wicket. Australia won the next two Tests, the captain contributing 212 and 169, to retain the Ashes 3-2 and Bradman had come through his first baptism of fire with his reputation enhanced.
================================================== ==========

In Adelaide against the might of the West Indies Merv Hughes had just completed his highest Test innings of 72 not out, sharing in an 114 run 9th wicket partnership with Dean Jones (216). Hughes was relaxing, towel around his neck, enjoying a cold something and bathing in the kudos of his colleagues for some cavalier, entertaining and ridiculous
batsmanship. Then The Don entered the room. After congratulating Jones on his strokeplay, Bradman cast an eye at the big, sweaty, moustachioed fast bowler, shook his head and said, "It
s a funny game, cricket."
-
================================================== ==
-Michael Parkinson on Don:

There is, for instance, the tale of Bill Black, an off-spin bowler playing for Lithgow, who on a memorable day in 1931 bowled Bradman for 52. The umpire was so excited that when the ball hit Bradman's wicket he called out: "Bill, you've got him."

The ball was mounted and given to Black as proof that he had dismissed
the greatest batsman in the world.

Later that season Don Bradman again played against Black. As the bowler marked out his run, Don said to the wicketkeeper: "What sort of bowler is this fellow?"

The wicketkeeper, a mischief-maker like the rest of his tribe, replied: "Don't you remember this bloke? He bowled you out a few weeks ago and has been boasting about it ever since."

"Is that so?" said Bradman. Two overs later Black pleaded with his skipper to be taken off. Bradman had hit him for 62 runs in two eight-ball overs. He made 100 in three overs and finished with 256,
including 14 sixes and 29 fours.
---------

On Bradman's first tour of England in 1930 there was a popular rumour that the English pitches would sort him out. As an ardent subscriber to this theory, George Macauley, the feisty Yorkshire seam bowler, couldn't wait to get at Bradman.

When Yorkshire played the Australians Macauley demanded loudly of his captain: "Let me have a go at this bugger." His first over was a maiden. Bradman then hit him for five fours in the second over and took 16 from the third. A spectator yelled: "George, tha' should have kept thi' bloody trap shut."
-----------------------------

In Sir Donald's last first-class game at Sydney, Miller greeted him with two bouncers. The first, of the harmless variety, was hit for four. The second, preceded by a gesture to the press box declaring: 'If you think that was funny, you ain't seen nothing yet,' nearly
decapitated Sir Donald, who at the time happened to be chief selector.

================================================

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His personal setbacks:

Sir Donald has had to confront much sadness in his personal life, which perhaps strengthened his resolve to remain a private person. His son, John, born in 1939, three years after the death of the Bradman's infant son, was afflicted by poliomyelitis was a young teenager. He made a full recovery from the virus but continued to suffer because he was the son of Don Bradman.

In 1972 John changed his name by deed poll. At that time Sir Donald said: "Only those who have to live with the incessant strain of publicity can have any idea of its impact".

Daughter Shirley was born with cerebral palsy. Lady Bradman, who had heart bypass surgery several years ago, and her husband have had periods of indifferent and poor health

Bradman - Greatest Anecdotes Part 1

Don Bradman: My father took me down to Sydney to see two days of the Fifth Test between Australia and England. That was the only first-class match I ever saw until I played in one. I can still hear the sound of the ball going into Sammy Carters gloves when they bowled. And xtraordinary thing, after all these years, I can still memorise the sound of that ball going into Sammy Carters gloves. But
of course my greatest memory of the match was that this was on the
Sydney Cricket Ground, which I
d never seen before, and it was a magnificent ground, and I said to my father, I shall never be happy until I play on this ground.
---------------------------------

Bill O'Reilly: Bradman was the greatest cricketer ever that I saw walk through a gate onto a cricket field anywhere that I
ve been, theres no doubt whatsoever about that. He had everything it needed to take charge of a game and to call the tune all the time he was out in the middle, which he generally did. To bowl against Bradman with my way of
bowling, I regarded it as t
he greatest experience that you could have out in the middle, because I acquitted myself I think I just about broke even with him, too. Someday some researcher will tell me how I stood with him. For instance the first time ever we played against
each oth
er as kids, he got 234 on the first Saturday. I did get him spilled a couple of times under tragic circumstances in the slips. And 234 not out, and I spent the rest of the week wondering (I was then a
university boy, home on holidays at Bowral and Wingello) and the rest
of that week I spent saying to yself,
Well God blimey, forget about cricket, go back to Botany Harriers and start high jumping and running again. If a kid like that, 17, can do what he did to you there,
there
s not much hope. But then again, the next Saturday, I rolled him head over heels first ball of the day, and I thought, God, this isnt a bad game at all; thisll do me, Ill stick at it. And I think
probably a little bit of research along the track would show that my duels with him w
erent lopsided.
--------------------


Bill O'Reilly: I would say old Walter Scott writing one of his novels would have regarded him as a recluse. He was a man who had nothing really to contribute socially amongst any of the boys at all, and in fact what
s more, looking back now, I dont think I ever really got to
know Bradman, and I knew him longer than any other cricketer that has ever lived, because we met as kids in the bush.

-----------------------------------------------

Charles Williams (Labour li
fe peer in the English House of Lords and biographer of Bradman) on Don:

Now why a sporting hero? Well Australia has never had a war of independence, it
s therefore never had a George ashington, its never had a civil war, never had a Lenin, its never had a war against a
close enemy, it
s therefore never had a Joan of Arc, and so on and so forth. Its heroes have mainly been sporting heroes, and because of the climate and individualism of Australia and those who live there, sport has been particularly attractive, and particular attention has been given to it. So in the circumstances its not wholly surprising that a sporting figure who achieved what Don achieved, should be much more than just a simple sporting figure; he was almost, as it were, an amalgam of, say, Joan of Arc and George Washington and Lenin at the
same time, if I can use that expression.

-------------------

Williams on Don unpopularity with some of team mates:

Within the ranks of the Australian cricket side, however, Bradman wasn
t always as popular with his team-mates as he was with the public. Charles Williams says that one of the reasons for this, that bubbled away under the surface, was the ectarian divide in the team, the division between Catholics and Protestants that was potent in Australian society and politics throughout the first half of the 20th century.

Williams: Like all these things it
s a mixture. Certainly there was that, and as Don said to me in a slightly bitter tone, its the only time he got rather bitter during our conversation, Fingleton was the ringleader and he said when they went to Melbourne they were met by
priests in cassocks. You know, it was quite powerful stuff. That was part of it. Part of it of course was jealousy, straight jealousy, that Bradman was the h
ero, Bradman was the man that people wanted to see. If Bradman got out, all the grounds emptied even if Jack Fingleton was going in to bat. And that was irritating for people like OReilly and
Fingleton, who were in their own right, cricketers of the highe
st standard.

The third problem was that Don himself was not the easiest character to get on with. He was, in his playing days, he was quite sharp, he was a pretty fierce Captain, he played to win and there wasn
t much quarter given to the opponent or indeed sometimes his own side. He was also, up until the late 30s he was a teetotaller, didnt like all
this noisy stuff, couldn
t understand why people drank beer, didnt understand why people smoked, didnt see what good it did them.

Whereas the O
Reilly/Fingleton/Fleetwood-Smith those people, they all of them enjoyed a beer and enjoyed having a good time and there was a good deal of social tension of that nature. The classic story is when Don came out at Headingley in 1930 and all the boys rallied round and said, Well, you know, Braddles, you know, have a drink and
celebrate
, and he said, Id rather go up to my hotel room and write a few letters, which he did, and listened to some music. Now that was an odd thing in a way, if I may put it like this without offence, for
an Australian to do. An odd thing for anybody to do, but for an Australian particularly in a side like that, in a touring side, it was regarded as being pretty stand-offish, they didn
t like it. So there
was a combination of all these fac
tors.

---------------------------

Charles Williams: He talked at some length about the vendetta, he
called it, that Fingleton led against him, as Fingleton was the ringleader. And he talked about the problems he
d had in 36/7 and the England tour of 1938, and he said that one of the factors in 1948, after the War, which led him to accept at a relatively advanced age,
the Captaincy of the Australian touring side, was the fact that O
Reilly and Fingleton had both retired. And the fact that the 48 side was in his view a very happy side, which is borne out by every
other commentator, was due to the fact that the schism that was there in
36/7 and 38 was no longer there. So although there may have been no overt rows about religion, because I dont think Dons the sort of person who had that sort of row, it was an underlying theme that was an irritant when they all, for instance, on board ship, he said, they
all went off together to mass on the Sunday, and they made a point of doing that, in a rather sort of pointed manner. Where of course Bradman and the other Protestants didn
t go to mass, it was a Catholic mass. Its that sort of thing rather than overt rows I think that made
for tension in the team

================================================== ============

It has been well documented that until poor health beset him, Bradman was a keen golfer. Some years ago, he was playing a round with Dean Jones. At one stage, Jones was in the rough, and he was circling his ball, trying to figure out how to get it past several tall trees
between it and the fairway. As his playing partner was deep in thought, Bradman said: 'In my day, when I played here as a young man, a three-iron was good enough to get it through those trees.'
Presumably thinking that any sporting advice from The Don was good advice, Jones pulled out his three-iron, reared back and ... THWACK!
Straight into the trees. Seeing Jones's perplexed expression, Bradman stated calmly, while holding his hand at knee level: 'Of course, in my day, the trees were only so high'

==========================================

Bill Lawry:
In the 1928-1940 era," Lawry aid, "Bradman used to fill the grounds.
In my era, I used to empty them.''
====================

Dennis Batchelor:

During Bradman
s second century I learned that he was suffering from
ill-health. I fancy it was a touch of
flu with a rising temperature. I dare say if he had had plague we should have got rid of him for 150.
=====================================

Was Larwood the fastest bowler you ever saw?

Don: No he wasn't. At his best he was very good, very fast, but the fastest bowler I've ever seen was Frank Tyson ... he wasn't a good a bowler as Harold but he was exceptionally fast.


Harold Larwood - Hidden Gems of the Bodyline Bowler

Harold Larwood
The ball that hit Oldfield started verything off. Not a recognised
batsman, Oldfield had reached 40 with a leg glance off Larwood that went
for 4, so Larwood dropped the next one short. Attempting to hook it,
Oldfield mistimed it and was struck on the right side of the temple. All
hell broke loose. Larwood, frightened that the injury might be serious,
ran up to the crumpled figure. 'I'm sorry, Bertie,' he said. The plucky
little wicket-keeper tried to collect himself and mumbled: 'It's not
your fault, Harold.' An X-ray later revealed that Oldfield had suffered
a fractured skull.

The crowd's anger exploded. 'Go home, you Pommie bastards!' they yelled
as Woodfull assisted Oldfield from the field. The match continued amid a
storm of barracking and abuse.

At the end of the day's play, police protection was offered to Larwood
but big Bill Voce told them: 'Don't worry, we'll look after him.' '

------------------------------------------------------------------

'On the last day but one of the Test(Adelaide Test of Bodyline series)
, Larwood received a telegram from Archie Jackson as he lay dying from a
chest complaint in a Brisbane private hospital: 'Congratulations -
magnificent bowling. Good luck - all matches, Archie Jackson.' This was
the same Archie Jackson, acknowledged in Australia as the greatest
master batsman since Trumper, who had taken a bruising and stood up to
Harold's bowling on a rain-affected pitch at the Oval in 1930.

-------------------------------------------------------------

'The Sydney Cricket Ground was packed to capacity for the last Test and
after nearly two days in the field England finally dismissed Australia
on a fast wicket. Though Larwood had sweated to take 4 for 98 off 32
overs Jardine asked him to bat as night watchman. 'This isn't fair,'
Larwood objected.

Jardine insisted and the fast bowler went out to bat (pictured right) in
a temper, survived until the next day, then batted on spleen, attacking
the bowling with gusto. Fast bowler Bull Alexander kept bumping them
down at him while the 'Hill' egged him on: 'Knock his bloody head off,
Bull!' One ball grazed his nose and when a fielder remarked that it was
a close one, Larwood casually replied: 'Not really, I had time to count
its stitches.'

After scoring 98, including a 6, a 5 and nine 4's, the spectators,
including all of the 'Hill', stood and cheered him off. The Australians
may be good barrackers but they do appreciate good cricket. Larwood
later learned that Jardine wanted him to bat early in order to give him
a good rest before bowling. He just didn't explain it to Harold.

----------------------------------------------------------------
'I'll tell you about that 'Silent Killer' nickname I gave him. I used to
field at cover point and as Loll came up on that smooth, carpet-slipper
run of his, and I moved in to the batsmen I used to listen hard - to
find out what kind of delivery he was going to bowl. If I could hear his
feet tip-tapping over the turf I knew he would be well within himself -
he would still be quick, mind.

But when I couldn't hear him running up I used to look at the batsman
and think: 'You're a split second away from trouble, son,' because I
knew that Loll was coming in on his toes and he was going to let slip
the fastest he'd got.'

Joe Hardstaff Jnr. - Notts. and England

-------------------------------------------------------------

When Leicester take the field against Notts, Harry Smith likes the look
of the wicket and tells his skipper: 'S-s-skipper, I think I'll
b-b-bounce one or two.' Harry had a bit of a stutter. 'Wait a minute,'
says the captain, 'they've got Larwood and Voce.'

'I'll just b-b-bounce one or two,' says Harry. So he bounces one or two
and Notts don't like it. Before the end of the day, Leicester go in to
bat and Larwood and Voce bowl them over like tin soldiers. Harry soon
finds himself at the wicket. Larwood and Voce go for him and he's never
seen so many balls bouncing around his ears. Suddenly he gets a touch
and Sam Staples catches him at second slip. Harry takes off his gloves
and walks. 'Wait a minute,' says Sam, 'it was a bump ball. I didn't
catch it!'

'Yes, you b-b-loody-well did,' says Harry, and he's back in the pavilion
before you can say Jack Robinson.
--------------------------------------------------------

"At the age of 17, I was promoted to the village's first team. Bowling
in sandshoes because I didn't own a pair of boots, I sent down 20 overs
during the match, even though I'd worked down the mine all the previous
night.'

'I remember the game as if it were last week. After a few overs my nose began to bleed. Team mates, men they were , urged me to leave the field. I refused and kept on bowling. Down the mine I reamed of cricket; I bowled imaginery balls in the dark; I sent the stumps spinning and heard them rattling in the tunnels. No mishap was going to stop me from bowling in the real game, especially this one.'

'My nose bled worse than ever, spattering my shirt. I was again advised
to go off but I continued to bowl. Then a ball caught the middle stump. My next delivery scattered the incoming batsman's wicket. Although feeling a bit weak by now I got ready for one more, and hit the off stump. It was my first hat-trick.'

'Cricket was my reason for living.'

When fielders won the matched

Oracle has written a brilliant article about how fielding can lift a side which is lacking in batting and bowling. To see the best example of this theory put into practice, one has to travel back 50 years.

The standing of Australia of 1952/3 was not unlike that of the current Australian team. All the players of the Bradman's team - except the Don himself - were there. They had won 25 out of the 32 tests since 1945. Put to test against them was South Africa. None of Dudley Nourse, Alan Melville, Bruce Mitchell, Eric and Athol Rowan, Tufty Mann or Cuan McCarthy - all good to great players who had served South Africa before and after the war - were to able to make the tour. Indeed, there was major campaign lead by the Louis Duffus, the most eminent among South African cricket writers, that the tour should be cancelled to avoid further defeats and humiliations.

It was well justified. Australia had butchered a much stronger South African team in 1949-50 by four tests to nothing. The last test was lost by an innings and 259 runs, the biggest in SAF history. In the absence of all the major players Jack Cheetham was chosen to lead the team. An slow, stodgy batsman, he had averaged 18.76 in his 9 tests. Going into the series, the career averages of the other players, some of whom were to destined to become great, read thus : In batting McGlew had made 50 runs at 12.50, Waite 152 at 21.71, Endean 38 at 19.00, McLean 138 at 27.60 and Watkins 87 at 14.50. As for bowling Watkins had 3 wkts at 48.00, Melle 12 at 26.66 and Tayfield 17 at 42.70.

This was the team that was to face the Australians among whom were Arthur Morris, Neil Harvey, Colin Macdonald, Lindsay Hassett, Miller, Lindwall, Benaud, Bill Johnston and Ian Johnson.

Cheetham conceded quite early that it would be pointless to try and match the Australians in batting or bowling. So with the aid of his manager Ken Viljoen, he did an informal study on how often were test hundreds chanceless and the answer he received was 'precious few'. That was to be his solution to the Australian question. Cheetham drove his team to intense fielding practices, which started from South Africa and continued through the voyage to Australia. During the long trip, he preached to the diffident players like Tayfield, how good they really were.

South African team was completely written in the early stages of the tour. They lost to New South Wales, and the intense practice actually seemed to increase the number of catches dropped. Everything was going according to the script when Australia won the first test at Sydney.

Then the efforts began to pay off. If there is any single moment which could be pointed out as the beginning of the end for that great Australian team, it would be the second day of the Melbourne test. South Africa made 227 and Australian openers had made nearly 100 when Arthur Morris drove Tayfield into the body of Cheetham at silly point from where it bounced over the head of the bowler. Tayfield turned around, raced after the ball and caught it with a full length drive.

This was made to look like a commonplace thing when Russell Endean caught Miller at the long on boundary. RS Whittington has written how he was looking into the crowd to see someone among them catch the ball. For a few moments nothing happened. Then he saw Endean stand with his back to the rails like a 'miniature Statue of Liberty'. Miller remembered that catch in a recent memoir :

"Endean...what a catch that was, one-handed and jumping up right next to the picket fence. When I hit it, I knew it was going over. How Endean kept his feet I'll never know as in those days the ground sloped down in the last five or six yards. I thought he was going to go !@#$ over @#$. It was just the mightiest catch. I still remember it clearly all these years on."

On that fateful day, four 'impossible' catches were held. Australia was held to 243. Then, maybe not as a coincidence, Endean who had been considered as another ordinary batsman, played the innings of his life. His 162* left Australia to chase 373. Tayfield took 7 wickets and Australia was brought down by 82 runs.

Australia went ahead winning the third test and it came down to final test at Melbourne. Harvey's 205 helped Australia to 520 and South Africa conceded a lead of 85 and were then set 295 to win. When Roy Maclean went out to bat at 191 for 4, Cheetham told him, 'score quickly, but don't take any risks'. 'Don ?t worry Pop, I ?ll get ?em for you', came the reply. Maclean was dropped first ball, then scored 76 in 80 minutes and the series was tied.

The historical significance of this series is immense. This was the first series the Australia had failed to win in 14 years. The next year, they lost the Ashes for the first time in 19 years. South Africa had always been a sort of Zimbabwe till this point. Out of this series they were never underdogs again. Following through from here, Cheetham's team defeated New Zealand 4-0 and came back from two tests down to tie England 2-2 only to lose the last test and series in 1955.

Ump hits back

Cec Pepper was the scourge of Lancashire league umpires, blasting the meek with his belligerant appeals, making the lay preachers blush with his vivid langauge. The umpire who faced up to him had to be a special kind of human being and George Long was such a man.

George was standing one day at the end where Pepper was bowling, when Pepper made one of his raucous Austarlian appeals for lbw, which was answered by a quiet notout. Whereupon Pepper gave vent to a histrionic stream of invective, throwing in all the stock-in-trade props - spectacles, white stick, guide dog, illegitimacy, bloody minded Englishness and four letter words - all of which George completely ignored.

The same thing happened after the next ball and yet again the following one, after which George called 'Over' and walked to his squareleg position, followed by Pepper - obviously disturbed by the lack of reaction from the umpire.

'I suppose you're going to report all this bad language to the league ?', said Pepper.

'No', replied George. 'Ah likes a chap as speaks his mind'.

Pepper was obviously delighted. 'So do I', he said smilingly, 'and I must say it is a refreshing change to meet an umpire like you. I'm glad that we understand each other'.

'Aye', said George.

The first ball of the next over again hit the batsman's pad, whereupon Cec whirled round to George, arms outstretched and did his usual Red Indian war whoop. His Howzat was head all around the ground.

'Notout, you fat Australian bastard', said George quietly.

Advent of Bouncer - Neville Cardus

Latest rice-pudding man

by Neville Cardus
Friday January 24, 1975


It is easy to imagine, from the reports of the Test matches in Australia, that the fast, short-pitched, rising ball bowled by Thomson and Lillee is a newly-invented menace to the physical well-being of batsmen. Indeed, I expect to read, or hear, any moment a statement from some sociologist informing us that the fast bouncer and Thomson and Lillee are by-products of the present-day revival of violence everywhere, letter-bombs, bombs, hijacking, etc. Our sociologist could argue that Thomson and Lillee are hijackers, saying to the batsmen: "Surrender to us your wicket, or we'll put you in hospital."


Alas, there is nothing new under the sun, or the moon. The fast bouncer has like the poor and the jokes of BBC comedians, always been with us. When I was a small boy I saw the Australian bowler Cotter attacking England's batsmen at Old Trafford. I was terrified, mainly because I feared he might hurt my favourite cricketer, R. H. Spooner. In his first over two balls catapulted high above the head of the Australian wicket-keeper.


At Trent Bridge, in this same rubber of 1905, Cotter blasted his way through the England first innings, bombing Hayward, John Gunn and the usually imperturbable F. S. Jackson. John Gunn told me years afterwards, that at the outset of England's second innings, A. C. MacLaren was seen pacing up and down the dressing-room, padded-up, and muttering to himself: "I'll bloody well Cotter him." And MacLaren scored 140, dismissing Cotter's bouncers contemptuously from his presence.


But we need not go as far back as 1905 to seek out the advent of the fast bowler's bouncer, called bumpers then. Only yester-year the West Indians, Hall and Griffith, menaced cranium and thorax; Hall broke the left wrist of Cowdrey at Lord's in 1963 - and Dexter put Hall to the sword with the high disdain of MacLaren. Have the cricket reporters in Australia forgotten Gregory and Macdonald bowling ferocious bouncers in Armstrong's Australian team of 1921?

At Trent Bridge, Gregory with a bouncer knocked out Ernest Tyldesley, the ball hitting his head then falling on the stumps. After the match I saw Ernest Tyldesley's more famous brother J. T. Tyldesley, and I expressed to him my sympathy with Ernest in his bad luck at Trent Bridge. But J. T. was not at all sympathetic. "He was trying to hook and ran into the ball. When a batsman tries to hook he should move over to the offside, then if the ball is not at the right height to hook, he leaves it alone, and the ball passes harmlessly over his left shoulder."


At Leeds, in 1921, the Hon. Lionel Tennyson, with a split hand, assaulted Gregory violently. Stanley McCabe coped triumphantly even with Larwood's nuclear attack, the so-called "body-line", in Australia. We can sum up the contemporary England batsmen's fearsome notion of the bouncer, a general idea that a bouncer is not quite cricket, by pointing out that one of the great strokes in all the batsman's repertory is the hook. And the hook could not have been invented and perfected, except against the short-pitched bouncer.


In a Lancashire v. Nottinghamshire match at Old Trafford, in the late twenties, Larwood was bouncing them. He was horrifically explosive. At the close of Lancashire's innings, E. A. Macdonald, Lancashire's imported and most stylish - and fast and most dangerous of fast bowlers to batsmen's anatomy - went into the Notts' players" dressing-room, advising them to ring up the nearest infirmary for an ambulance. "I'll show you," he threatened, "what a fast bumper really is." And he did. Whysall was hurt and obliged to leave the field. George Gunn walked out of his crease to Macdonald"s fastest. A bouncer came to him on the offside; he actually cut under the ball, sending it over third-man's head, high over, for six. Macdonald stopped in his run to bowl as he saw George walking towards him, out of his crease. "Get back, George," commanded Macdonald, "or I'll knock your head off." George replied to the fastest of fast bowlers, "Ted, you couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding."


Ernest Jones, also Australian, sent a bouncer through the beard of W. G. Grace and was severely reprimanded verbally and by bat. At Old Trafford, in 1896, Ernest Jones bounced at fierce and lightning pace - and Ranjitsinhji scored 154, not out. In his retirement, Ranjitsinhji told me that one ball from Jones grazed his left ear, drawing blood. "I mistimed; I don't think I was seeing the ball very well that day."


As Compton remarked, over the radio the other day, the bouncer can be more or less controlled, given the technique. English batsmen, in recent years, have had little opportunity to practise against really fast stuff.


One of the most brightening exhibitions of fast bouncing bowling I have ever seen occurred at Old Trafford in 1948 during the England v. Australia Test match. Lindwall was awesome. He almost paralysed Compton's left arm, then, with a "no-ball" so much over the crease that he let the ball go its vicious way far down the pitch, he struck Compton's forehead as in fact Compton actually tried to hook (no running away!) and the missile flew off the edge of his bat. Compton staggered and was led from the field, his forehead bleeding. Stitches were sewn into the wound. He wanted to resume his innings but was advised by a doctor to rest awhile. Edrich (Bill), held the fort bravely, even as his kinsman did at Sydney the other week.


Compton - believe it or not - went to a net to find out if he could still see a quick ball, then resumed his Test match innings, stayed until close of play, and next morning carried his score to 145 not out. As Wisden recorded, Lindwall bowled bouncers with such force and dangerous aim that during this season of 1948 he knocked-out or hurt Compton, Todd, Washbrook (a great hooker), Keeton, Robertson and Watkins.


Bouncers of real pace are obviously not liked by ordinarily batsmen. But if bouncers are ever made illegal one of the imperial strokes will depart from batsmanship, much to the disappointment of the shades of A. C. MacLaren, Trumper, Jessop, Hendreff and Hammond (who, in his early years, was a powerful and noble hooker). I am pretty sure that one or two batsmen still with us would be eager to tackle the short clanging bouncers of Thomson - Barry Richards, for instance, Clive Lloyd and, maybe, Greg Chappell.

Nuttiest , Wittiest and Funniest Commentators Part 2

Nuttiest , Wittiest and Funniest Commentators Part 2
The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.
- Brian Johnston, BBC
Yorkshire 232 all out, Hutton ill - I'm sorry, Hutton 111.
- John Snagge, BBC News
Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end.
- Brian Johnston, BBC Radio
Welcome to Worcester where you've just missed seeing Barry Richards hitting one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the
ground.
- Brian Johnston, BBC Radio
He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time.
- Richie Benaud, Channel 9
If you go in with two fast bowlers and one breaks down, you're left two short.
- Bob Massie, ABC Radio
This game will be over any time from now.
- Alan McGilvray, ABC Radio
It is important for Pakistan to take wickets if they are going to make big inroads into this Australian batting line-up.
- Max Walker, Channel 9
Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.
- Tim Gavel, ABC News
In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.
- Tony Greig, Channel 9
It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.
- Tony Benneworth, ABC Radio
It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air.
- Jack Potter, 3UZ
Laird has been brought in to stand in the corner of the circle.
- Richie Benaud, Channel 9
Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary.
- Jim Maxwell, ABC Radio
On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off.
- Trevor Bailey, Radio 3
He didn't quite manage to get his leg over.
- Jonathan Agnew, after Botham had spun around off balance and tried to step over the wicket unsuccessfully, BBC
Lloyd's talking to his SLIPers.
- Channel 9 commentator.
Marshall's bowling with his head.
- ABC commentator.
The sight of Bright holds no fright for Wright.
- Jim Maxwell
and the riposte
That's right!
- Norm O'Neil
And Jajeda is dijappointed...Jadeja is ji..da..I'll come again, Jajeda..okay Jadeja looks downcast.
- Tony Greig on Channel 9.
His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going
- Richie Benaud
Even Downton couldn’t get down high enough for that
- Richie Benaud
That slow motion doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling.
- Richie Benaud
There were no scores below single figures
- Richie Benaud
Fast bowlers are quick. Just watch this -- admittedly it is in slow motion
- Ian Chappell.
It is now possible they can get the impossible score they first thought possible
- Christopher Martin-Jenkins.
It would be unprintable on television
- Geoff Boycott
If England lose now, they will be leaving the field with their heads between their legs!
- Geoff Boycott
That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.
- Fred Trueman
Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.
- Trevor Bailey
David Boon is now completely clean-shaven, except for his moustache.
- Graham Dawson
The black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing. Now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is!
- Raymond Illingworth
He is a very dangerous bowler. Innocuous, if you like.
- England coach David Lloyd discussing Chris Harris
The Queen's Park Oval -- as its name suggests, absolutely round!
- Tony Cozier
His feet were a long way away from his body!
- Ravi Shastri
You rejoin us at a very appropriate time -- Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end!
- Brian Johnston
The lights are shining quite darkly
- Henry Blofeld
It is a catch he would have held 99 times out of one thousand.
- Henry Blofeld
It is a full house at the Eden Gardens. Today, Calcutta is celebrating the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi!
- Henry Blofeld
Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
- Robin Williams, American actor
Cricket needs brightening up a bit. My solution is to let the players drink at the beginning of the game, not after. It always works in our picnic matches.
- Paul Hogan, Australian actor
I don't know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.
- Pete Sampras on watching Lara and Ambrose at Lord's.
Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.
- Lord Maycroft
Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game.
- George Mikes How to be an Alien
Personally, I have always looked upon cricket as organised loafing.
-William Temple. Archbishop of Canterbury 1926.
Q: Do you feel that the selectors and yourself have been vindicated by the result?
A: I don't think the press are vindictive. They can write what they want.
- Mike Gatting, ITV
I think we are all slightly down in the dumps after another loss. We may be in the wrong sign...Venus may be in the wrong juxtaposition with somewhere else.
- Ted Dexter, explaining away England's seventh successive Test loss, to Australia at Lord's, 1993
There was a slight interruption there for athletics.
- Richie Benaud, referring to a streaker at Lord's, BBC TV
Say, when do they begin?
- Grouch Marx, watching a cricket match at Lord's
It's funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan, it's when you realise that your wife left you in May.
- Denis Norden, British television writer and compere
Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns cricket match into gang warfare.
- Mike Brearley, 1980
Is there any sex in it?
- Peter Sellers, as a psychiatrist upon first learning about cricket in What's New Pussycat, 1965
Q: Darryl, who are your favourite actors?
Cullinan: Dustin Hoffman and some Aussie bowlers in the act of appealing.
Q: What's your favourite animal?
Steve Waugh: Merv Hughes.